Back to school
We are just around the corner from children and teenagers heading back to school. Some of them have done camps, some of them have done summer school, some have just relaxed! If you are like many parents (and children themselves), you may be feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and how your child adjusts to a new teacher, new classmates, a new routine, or even a new school entirely. In preparation of the upcoming school year, here are some ways to help prepare you and your child for these changes.
Discuss New Changes and Same Things. Open up a conversation to share with them what you know about their new school, new teacher, and what their day might look like now. It can be helpful for children to get a sense of what new things might be like, and feel more prepared to adjust to these new changes. It can also be helpful to highlight things that stay the same – maybe they have the same homeroom teacher, the same coach, or the same schedule that they are used to. If the school has rules or a dress code that is new to them, now is a good time to learn them together as a family. They may have questions that you do not have the answer to, but it is an opportunity to reassure them that they have good questions and you will find out together once school starts. If you do know that there will be specific changes, now is a great time to discuss and support them in their feelings about it. Maybe their lunch will be at a different hour, or they are eating in a cafeteria for the first time, and you can discuss with them what this might look like… leading to our next suggestion:
Act It Out! For children and even teenagers, some may need practice or help in building social skills around all the demands that are asked of them during a school day. This might look like role playing what it could look like to ask a teacher for help, working with a peer in a group project, asking the cafeteria staff for lunch, or even how to start a conversation with a new classmate. While these skills might sound like things your child should know or has known, it is possible that in a new setting, such as a new school or class, or with a new teacher, they might need help boosting their confidence to use these skills. Practicing how to make an introduction, who to ask for help, and how to ask for help can be really helpful in preparing them for the next year.
Help Set Realistic Expectations. Many children have lots of plans: make new friends, get straight A’s, be a part of every team and club! While we want to support their motivation and goals, it is a good opportunity to check in with them and help them understand that their time and energy is limited. It can also take more time to make lasting friendships and determine who would be a good friend. Helping set these expectations can look like looking at a calendar together so that they visually see how much time they have for extracurriculars, sharing about how you have made friends in the past, or reassuring them that while it would be great if they got straight A’s, that what you want is to see them try their best. If they have taken on more than they can handle, remember that they are still developing executive functioning skills of planning and time management, and might need more support in these areas.
Enjoy the transition back to school! As stressful as this time can be, it can also be exciting for many children. Remember how it felt for you when you were in school when this time of year rolled around, and what things typically made you anxious or eager to go back to school. Reflecting on how you and your children have things in common or are different in these ways can also be helpful in supporting your children through this transition and an interesting discussion!