How to Help CHILDREN Prepare for the Holidays
Written by Samantha Spielfogel, Psy.D. (PSB94027904)
Halloween being over signals the start of the holiday season. Many children and families have waited for this time the whole year to celebrate their traditions with loved ones. However, this time can be challenging for children too – so many breaks in routines, new people, different expectations. While the holidays bring in cheer, they can also bring behavioral challenges and stress. In trying to reduce stress for families, here are some ways they can help prepare their children for the holidays.
Social stories. Something that can throw everyone off is a change in their routine, but this is especially true for children, particularly if they are neurodivergent. While a trip to a relative’s home for a few days may be exciting, it also involves travel, a different schedule, different food, a different room to stay in, etc.. Your child may even be excited for these changes, but it does not make it any less overwhelming. Something that may help prepare your child is a social story. A social story is something you create to share with your child and prepare them for something different. Depending on the age of your children, and their preferred style of interacting, this can be a physical story you make with pictures, or verbally giving them a narrative of what will be happening. For example, if you are visiting grandma, you use photos of your child and make a story of the whole experience. This can include airport security, being on the plane, and ideally, pictures of relatives and where they will be staying, etc. It can also include start and end times for the experience, behavioral expectations, and what the schedule of events will look like. Creating a more detailed story can be helpful, and can help the child understand what will be going on. Reading this story before the trip (depending on the child, even several times!) will be helpful in preparation for the event. Having a physical story to look at and read can be very helpful in setting up your child for a smoother experience.
Quiet Time & Routines. While there may be a lot of traditions, be sure to build in some time for your child to wind down. Whatever that looks like for your child – a nap, reading, some quiet time with you – make sure that that is built into the holidays so they have some time to decompress. Emotions and energy can run very high during this exciting time, and can lead to meltdowns without routine and some time to relax. By building it in, you are doing your best to model and help your child have their space and wind down as well. Additionally, your child is probably used to a routine – waking up, getting ready for school, school, and then whatever their routine is after school. While the routine may be different during the holidays, it can be helpful to establish one during the holidays so kids know what to expect. This can help prioritize their sleep as well as maintaining regular meals.
Involve them. A lot needs to be done around the house to prepare for the holidays, and it can help a child feel more involved and develop self-confidence to be given tasks that they will excel at. This can look like helping you decorate, set the table, or choose which holiday stories to read, depending on their skills and age. Giving children roles in the traditions throughout the holidays can help them feel more engaged with the holiday, and build their independence.
Have fun! The holidays only come around once a year, and you get to show your children how your family celebrates. It is expected that there will be some ups and downs, but ultimately you are helping your child learn your own families’ traditions and spending quality time with them. Enjoy, and happy holidays!
